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Begonia, Cistus.

If only I could share.

For I beg you with purple hyacinths growing in place of my teeth

Spilling flower petals I have choked up

From the seams of my lungs

There is nothing but black smoke emitted from my eyes,

Where marigolds grow where my hope once did.

If only I could share

The fear I’ve fostered like my aching bones

The heaviness of the uncharted mind

When I realized I hold no regrets upon time’s end.

Willow, Cistus.

I face myself in the mirror

With the fear to look myself in the eyes

I know what lurks in those dark pools of ancient nature

I know that handing myself lovely lavender will bring me nothing

But curiosity and courage to detest the puddles I thought I had escaped.

Butterfly weed,

Cistus seeds.

I inhale sharply, making sense of my falling features

Into the rivers handed to me

Dismantling the notions that this could be said correctly.

I search through the flowing waters, collecting as many notes as I can

As many little Iris petals may fit in my hands

To keep as memories in the home of graying walls

A room that’s numbed out all that has harmed me


A beauty I count to see

When I make my journeys through the hemispheres

I hope that the stepping stones of light blue trail far behind me

As I skip and hop with a smile on my face

Leaving beautiful, dark crimson roses on each one

One for each of the people who cross my mind on this night.

And one for each that’ll cross my mind in the morning when I wake

With nothing but an empty stare glaring at me

From my mirror.

Pitying the way it has to continue to lure me with luscious bouquets

Filled with daisies, yellow roses, yellow carnations, and cistus flowers

Flower Meanings for Reference

¹ Begonia flowers - “beware.”

² Gum Cistus flowers - “I will die tomorrow.”

³ Purple Hyacinth flowers - sorrow.

⁴ Marigold flowers - grief.

⁵ Willow flowers - mourning or sadness.

⁶ Lavender flowers - distrust.

⁷ Butterfly Weed - “let me go.”

⁸ Iris flowers - a message.

⁹ Dark Crimson Rose flowers - mourning.

¹⁰ Daisy flowers - innocence.

¹​​¹ Yellow Rose flowers - a decrease in love.

¹² Yellow Carnation flowers - disdain or disappointment.

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