Just take a gap year,” friends tell me
If only it were that simple
Why is it so hard for them to understand?
Four long, oblivious years down the drain
Like dirty rainwater flowing languidly, aimlessly into sewers
Shoulda, coulda, woulda
What-ifs
Regrets and no take-backs
If I had only focused more
But my glasses were the wrong prescription
Slacked off less
But my belt, insecure, stayed loose
What will I tell my parents?
Pressure to redeem my family
Expectations to outstrip my failing brother
Graduate applications creep quietly closer
Like spiders crawl sneakily towards their prey
Anticipated and, still, uninvited
Notebooks fill up like fattened stomachs
Due dates and reminders
Time runs out as the last grain of rice disappears from the pot
My future is ordained
Invisible ink on camouflaged paper
For now
Submit and wait